Today we held my grandmother's memorial at Montavilla United Methodist Church. It was a lovely service, and the pastor (who has only been the pastor at that church since the beginning of July and never met my grandmother) did a wonderful job. You could tell that she really listened to what folks told her about my grandmother, and said some very accurate and wonderful things about my grandmother.
I was privileged to give my grandmother's eulogy. It was hard, I came very close to losing control and crying a few times, but I made it through OK. I even managed to help folks laugh a bit, and my grandmother did love things that made her laugh, so that was appropriate. During the eulogy, Sophia (who was sitting with Grandma Darla and Grandpa Earl) noticed that I was up front talking. She said "Mama, Mama, Mama! Most of the church heard her. It was pretty cute. I realized that she has never seen me up in front of a church, as its been so long since I've done anything like that, so she was probably very surprised.
All-in-all, the service felt like it accurately reflected my grandmother's life and faith. It was a good service. The manuscript for the eulogy I gave is below. It is not entirely reflective of what I actually said today; this is the first time in many, many years I've spoken at anything with a manuscript and I deviated from it some. You may not care to read it. That's OK with me. But I wanted to put it up.
Emma Leona Dull Wittmayer was born December 5, 1914 in Burgin, Kentucky and died July 6, 2007 in Portland, Oregon. She had 3 children, 8 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.
She was born “Emma Lee” but she hated the name Lee and changed it to Leona when she was an adult. This does not explain why she gave my Aunt Sue the middle name “Lee” and she was never adequately able to explain it to anyone else.
Emma moved to Wyoming as a young girl, and later to Oregon while still in
school. From 1st to 8th grade, she went to school in Willamette. While living in Willamette her family lived in the woods in a log cabin belonging to a principal from Portland, and it did not have electricity.
She graduated from Milwaukie High School, where she was active in sports. She attended Milwaukie High School while her parents lived in Gladstone-she lived with another family at that time so that she was able to attend Milwaukie High School. She
lettered in both track and basketball. The story she told was that her dad was not going to let her play the next basketball game because he told her that her test score of 86 on a test was too low. The principal came to the house and talked to her dad, and he still wouldn't let her play, so Emma went to the church to pray that the team would do well without her.
She took sewing lessons while at Milwaukie HS. She later enjoyed sewing all of Susan's clothes, and baton twirling costumes. When she was over 50, she borrowed one of those costumes to wear to a Halloween party! Sewing was always very important to her. Many years the grandchildren would receive pajamas or nightgowns that she had sewn for them. There must be a dozen pictures of Cheryl, Lisa, me and Amy (in various groupings) in matching nightgowns.
She worked during high school and thereafter as a live-in maid in homes in Portland.
Emma met Calvin Wittmayer at The Oaks Amusement Park Roller Skating Rink, where
they participated together in competitive roller skating on teams called "The Red Mike's and The Blue Mike's" They were married in 1939 and the marriage lasted until his death in 1990 - 51 years, which, if nothing else would, shows her resilience.
She and Calvin moved to Washington, D.C., where Calvin worked for the U.S. Commerce Department but they returned to Portland in the early 1940s.
Larry was born in 1942, Susan in 1944 and John in 1946. She was a homemaker after her children were born, until John was in junior high school. Then she returned to work doing principally catering, cooking, and domestic work. She was especially proud of the years she spent cooking for the doctors at the Oregon Medical Association.
The family moved from Portland to Springfield in 1952 and later to Coos Bay in 1956,
both moves because of Cal’s job transfers. But they stayed in contact with the extended family in Portland, visiting for holidays. The family returned to Portland in 1960, and she lived in Portland the rest of her life.
Emma valued two things most: her family and her church. She gave whatever she had to give to each of them. She loved nothing more than spending time with her family. It made her happiest when all three of her children were together. She was proud of them and bragged about them as often as she could.
Emma was a life-long member of the Methodist Church, from early childhood until
her death. She was a member of Montavilla UMC from the early 1940s until her death,
except for the years 1952 - 1960, when she was a member of Ebert Memorial
Methodist Church in Springfield and Coos Bay Methodist Church. She was also a faithful member of the women’s society and had a good circle of friends there. When the United Methodist Women put out a recipe book in 1999, hers was the first recipe in the book, for “morning glory muffins.” That year many members of the family received the cookbook for Christmas. She was the wedding coordinator here for many years and found it a privilege and an honor to help people’s weddings run smoothly.
She also sang in the choir for many years. For a few years she continued to sit with the choir but did not sing. It made her very happy to be part of the choir. She would frequently bring “treats” for the choir at practice or on Sunday. One choir member once told me that they had to make her stop because they were all gaining weight!
She was also a member of Eastern Star for many years. I do not remember any time when she was not wearing her Eastern Star ring on her right hand. According to the Eastern star its purpose is to “build an Order which is truly dedicated to charity, truth and loving kindness.” These are good words to describe Emma. She was devoted to serving other people.
She frequently expressed her love for people by cooking for them. At Christmas each family would get the same thing as the others – she believed in treating all of us equally – homemade noodles, banana nut bread and other homemade goodies. Whenever there was a church potluck she had something to share and usually could be found behind the scenes setting up, cleaning and making things happen. She used to bring so much food to church potlucks that my grandfather Cal would ask her if she was trying to feed the whole church. She was so accustomed to this role that she had a hard time stepping out of it. When we threw her an 80th birthday party she really wanted to come into the kitchen and help get things ready, or at least tell us all how it should be done!
In the family, she was famous or perhaps infamous for her cooking. It was very important to her to cook for her family. She made birthday cakes for the grandchildren as long as they would let her. She had a mold to make a cake in the shape of a lamb. Then she would cover the frosting with coconut. I think that same lamb cake was my birthday cakes for years until I finally asked if I could have something different. She made chicken noodle soup, and even made her own noodles. It took her a long time to get on board with the “health food” craze. I can remember her putting an entire stick of butter into her chicken noodle soup until her family convinced her that it could still taste good without the butter.
She enjoyed her garden, and growing things that she could use in her cooking. She grew her own horseradish so she could make her own horseradish sauce. She enjoyed showing her grandchildren what was growing in the yard, and when she moved into her condo after Cal died, some of her granddaughters helped her put in a small garden in her new home.
She also loved cookbooks and she passed this love on to my aunt and some of my cousins. A cookbook as a gift would always make her happy. She also believed that they made good gifts. There were years that she would keep several copies of the “Joy of Cooking” on hand so she could give them as shower presents. I imagine there are many women here who received one of these from her at their wedding shower.
When I was a child I would spend the night at her house from time-to-time. My grandfather was there, but I mostly remember being with my Grandmother. We always made cookies. She’d let me help roll them out and cut them with her cookies cutters. While we waited for the cookies to bake we would sing “I’m a little teapot” and she’d do the dance with me. It is entirely due to her that I enjoy cutting out cookies with cookie cutters. I have all of her cook cutters and there is nothing I would rather have to remember her by.
She loved the Portland Trail Blazers and could be counted on to listen to all the games on her radio. She was a big fan and would watch them on TV whenever they were on, which wasn’t so often in those years. In fact, if there was basketball on TV, she thought it had to be the Blazers playing, and would identify other teams as them. It was a special treat the time my father took her for her birthday to see them live. After years of listening to them she got to see them once and talked about it, both before and after, to everyone.
Emma had a fantastic attitude about everything. No matter what pain or difficulties she experienced she was always positive. She always thought of people as kind, and nice. Each event she attended was a lot of fun. Her attitude, while sometimes entertaining to her grandchildren, was in fact inspiring. Most of us could stand to be a lot more like her. She had a classic expression that some of us came to call the “grandma grin” because her usual expression was a smile, no matter what was happening.
She was a person who never saw her own value. But she was a woman of tremendous value. She taught her children, kindness, hard work, honesty and respect. We all know my grandfather was not the nicest person in the world, and it is due entirely to my grandmother that Larry, Sue and John turned out to be the good people that they are. She was the kind of person that did not put herself forward, but just got down and did the work that needed to be done. She could be funny, she could be kind, she could also be stubborn and strong-willed, but no one with any relation to the name “Wittmayer” could claim anything else. We are a strong people, and while on the surface one might not have thought her to be the strongest of us, underneath, she was stronger than the rest. She retained her positive attitude all the time, as well as her devotion to caring for others. Nothing could make her change herself. She was a person devoted to making other people happy, her husband, her children and family, her church, her friends. We were lucky to know her, to be related to her, to be her friend.
Thank you for being here today to help us celebrate her life.
