Wedding!

Yesterday Uncle Barry and Aunt Jessica got married. We're all very happy about that! They've been together for 9 years, so it seemed about time. It was a wonderful wedding; one of the few I've ever attended that felt like every part of it represented the couple. The wedding was at Mt. Pisgah Arboretum, outside in a grove. It was a beautiful ceremony, and Barry and Jess not only seemed to be happy, they looked like they were having a lot of fun, which is unusual for the bride and groom. One funny thing happened during the ceremony. The officiant asked everyone to rise as Jess and her father were walking down the aisle. Then he never told us we could sit back down. That meant, everyone stood the entire time! As those family members who spent the afternoon setting up said, if they'd know the chairs weren't needed, they wouldn't have wasted all that time hauling them around.

The food was great, barbecue, and the music was fun - Sophia spent quite a bit of time staring at the musicians, and dancing along. I think between Grandma and Grandpa, she ate an entire piece of wedding cake. Before the ceremony Sophia discovered that my dress made a great leash to drag me around. The night before at the rehearsal, she kept stealing everyone's sunglasses and playing with her skirt. She wasn't quite sure about why Barry wasn't paying as much attention to her as he usually does. At the end of the ceremony as he and Jess walked down the aisle, she reached out to him to pick her up and said "Barry!." Luckily, she had another uncle and 3 aunts to pay her attention, in addition to my parents being there. There was no lack of attention paid to her.

The best part was that the entire family was there - all of Paul's siblings and their partners. Sophia got to meet aunt Karen for the first time, and she took to Karen like she rarely does to people.

Fun was had by all, and we're so happy that these two people we care so much about are happy.

Daddy Bye-bye

This week it's just me and Sophia (and of course our poor cat who I'm sure is thinking that she finally got rid of Paul and it's time to start working on getting rid of Sophia). Paul is attending a conference. It has been fun, but exhausting. I have a whole new level of respect for single parents. Sophia and I have been trying to have fun, last night we visited friends, and tonight we went to a new park near our house, but she really misses Daddy and knows her routine is off. She will spend several minutes saying "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy" and it's very sad. This morning when I went to get her out of bed, she refused to let me touch her for about 10 minutes, repeatedly asking for Daddy. She's just too young to understand that Daddy is coming back, or even that he's gone, not just in another room ignoring her. Poor Sophia.

As we were leaving day care today (at least that part of her life is functioning normally) she started pointing at things and naming their colors. I had no idea she knew colors! She correctly identified pink (Grandma Darla will be so proud!), green and black. Her day care provider, Karen, says she's also good at orange. We talked to Paul tonight and I reported this to him. He thought it was pretty funny, as the colors he's been working on with her are red, yellow and blue!

Karen often fixes Sophia's hair. Anytime you see a photo of Sophia and she has her hair in pigtails, or anything else fancy, Karen has done it. I have talents, but they don't stretch to hairstyling. The ponytail she had on top of her head tonight was pretty funny looking, as it flopped forward towards her face. At dinner I took a few photos of her, and for the first time she started posing for the camera. Her poses were pretty funny, but it's a start. At least with the silly grin she was giving, we finally have a good shot of her teeth. I've been claiming she has 12, now we can prove it! Actually, one of her eye teeth has poked through, so she's on her way to 13.

I'm really looking forward to Paul coming back tomorrow, and I know Sophia would be too if she could understand it. It's been fun to be on my own with Sophia, but I'm tired!

Grandma's Memorial

Today we held my grandmother's memorial at Montavilla United Methodist Church. It was a lovely service, and the pastor (who has only been the pastor at that church since the beginning of July and never met my grandmother) did a wonderful job. You could tell that she really listened to what folks told her about my grandmother, and said some very accurate and wonderful things about my grandmother.

I was privileged to give my grandmother's eulogy. It was hard, I came very close to losing control and crying a few times, but I made it through OK. I even managed to help folks laugh a bit, and my grandmother did love things that made her laugh, so that was appropriate. During the eulogy, Sophia (who was sitting with Grandma Darla and Grandpa Earl) noticed that I was up front talking. She said "Mama, Mama, Mama! Most of the church heard her. It was pretty cute. I realized that she has never seen me up in front of a church, as its been so long since I've done anything like that, so she was probably very surprised.

All-in-all, the service felt like it accurately reflected my grandmother's life and faith. It was a good service. The manuscript for the eulogy I gave is below. It is not entirely reflective of what I actually said today; this is the first time in many, many years I've spoken at anything with a manuscript and I deviated from it some. You may not care to read it. That's OK with me. But I wanted to put it up.

Emma Leona Dull Wittmayer was born December 5, 1914 in Burgin, Kentucky and died July 6, 2007 in Portland, Oregon. She had 3 children, 8 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.

She was born “Emma Lee” but she hated the name Lee and changed it to Leona when she was an adult. This does not explain why she gave my Aunt Sue the middle name “Lee” and she was never adequately able to explain it to anyone else.

Emma moved to Wyoming as a young girl, and later to Oregon while still in
school. From 1st to 8th grade, she went to school in Willamette. While living in Willamette her family lived in the woods in a log cabin belonging to a principal from Portland, and it did not have electricity.

She graduated from Milwaukie High School, where she was active in sports. She attended Milwaukie High School while her parents lived in Gladstone-she lived with another family at that time so that she was able to attend Milwaukie High School. She
lettered in both track and basketball. The story she told was that her dad was not going to let her play the next basketball game because he told her that her test score of 86 on a test was too low. The principal came to the house and talked to her dad, and he still wouldn't let her play, so Emma went to the church to pray that the team would do well without her.

She took sewing lessons while at Milwaukie HS. She later enjoyed sewing all of Susan's clothes, and baton twirling costumes. When she was over 50, she borrowed one of those costumes to wear to a Halloween party! Sewing was always very important to her. Many years the grandchildren would receive pajamas or nightgowns that she had sewn for them. There must be a dozen pictures of Cheryl, Lisa, me and Amy (in various groupings) in matching nightgowns.

She worked during high school and thereafter as a live-in maid in homes in Portland.

Emma met Calvin Wittmayer at The Oaks Amusement Park Roller Skating Rink, where
they participated together in competitive roller skating on teams called "The Red Mike's and The Blue Mike's" They were married in 1939 and the marriage lasted until his death in 1990 - 51 years, which, if nothing else would, shows her resilience.

She and Calvin moved to Washington, D.C., where Calvin worked for the U.S. Commerce Department but they returned to Portland in the early 1940s.

Larry was born in 1942, Susan in 1944 and John in 1946. She was a homemaker after her children were born, until John was in junior high school. Then she returned to work doing principally catering, cooking, and domestic work. She was especially proud of the years she spent cooking for the doctors at the Oregon Medical Association.

The family moved from Portland to Springfield in 1952 and later to Coos Bay in 1956,
both moves because of Cal’s job transfers. But they stayed in contact with the extended family in Portland, visiting for holidays. The family returned to Portland in 1960, and she lived in Portland the rest of her life.

Emma valued two things most: her family and her church. She gave whatever she had to give to each of them. She loved nothing more than spending time with her family. It made her happiest when all three of her children were together. She was proud of them and bragged about them as often as she could.

Emma was a life-long member of the Methodist Church, from early childhood until
her death. She was a member of Montavilla UMC from the early 1940s until her death,
except for the years 1952 - 1960, when she was a member of Ebert Memorial
Methodist Church in Springfield and Coos Bay Methodist Church. She was also a faithful member of the women’s society and had a good circle of friends there. When the United Methodist Women put out a recipe book in 1999, hers was the first recipe in the book, for “morning glory muffins.” That year many members of the family received the cookbook for Christmas. She was the wedding coordinator here for many years and found it a privilege and an honor to help people’s weddings run smoothly.

She also sang in the choir for many years. For a few years she continued to sit with the choir but did not sing. It made her very happy to be part of the choir. She would frequently bring “treats” for the choir at practice or on Sunday. One choir member once told me that they had to make her stop because they were all gaining weight!

She was also a member of Eastern Star for many years. I do not remember any time when she was not wearing her Eastern Star ring on her right hand. According to the Eastern star its purpose is to “build an Order which is truly dedicated to charity, truth and loving kindness.” These are good words to describe Emma. She was devoted to serving other people.

She frequently expressed her love for people by cooking for them. At Christmas each family would get the same thing as the others – she believed in treating all of us equally – homemade noodles, banana nut bread and other homemade goodies. Whenever there was a church potluck she had something to share and usually could be found behind the scenes setting up, cleaning and making things happen. She used to bring so much food to church potlucks that my grandfather Cal would ask her if she was trying to feed the whole church. She was so accustomed to this role that she had a hard time stepping out of it. When we threw her an 80th birthday party she really wanted to come into the kitchen and help get things ready, or at least tell us all how it should be done!

In the family, she was famous or perhaps infamous for her cooking. It was very important to her to cook for her family. She made birthday cakes for the grandchildren as long as they would let her. She had a mold to make a cake in the shape of a lamb. Then she would cover the frosting with coconut. I think that same lamb cake was my birthday cakes for years until I finally asked if I could have something different. She made chicken noodle soup, and even made her own noodles. It took her a long time to get on board with the “health food” craze. I can remember her putting an entire stick of butter into her chicken noodle soup until her family convinced her that it could still taste good without the butter.

She enjoyed her garden, and growing things that she could use in her cooking. She grew her own horseradish so she could make her own horseradish sauce. She enjoyed showing her grandchildren what was growing in the yard, and when she moved into her condo after Cal died, some of her granddaughters helped her put in a small garden in her new home.

She also loved cookbooks and she passed this love on to my aunt and some of my cousins. A cookbook as a gift would always make her happy. She also believed that they made good gifts. There were years that she would keep several copies of the “Joy of Cooking” on hand so she could give them as shower presents. I imagine there are many women here who received one of these from her at their wedding shower.

When I was a child I would spend the night at her house from time-to-time. My grandfather was there, but I mostly remember being with my Grandmother. We always made cookies. She’d let me help roll them out and cut them with her cookies cutters. While we waited for the cookies to bake we would sing “I’m a little teapot” and she’d do the dance with me. It is entirely due to her that I enjoy cutting out cookies with cookie cutters. I have all of her cook cutters and there is nothing I would rather have to remember her by.

She loved the Portland Trail Blazers and could be counted on to listen to all the games on her radio. She was a big fan and would watch them on TV whenever they were on, which wasn’t so often in those years. In fact, if there was basketball on TV, she thought it had to be the Blazers playing, and would identify other teams as them. It was a special treat the time my father took her for her birthday to see them live. After years of listening to them she got to see them once and talked about it, both before and after, to everyone.

Emma had a fantastic attitude about everything. No matter what pain or difficulties she experienced she was always positive. She always thought of people as kind, and nice. Each event she attended was a lot of fun. Her attitude, while sometimes entertaining to her grandchildren, was in fact inspiring. Most of us could stand to be a lot more like her. She had a classic expression that some of us came to call the “grandma grin” because her usual expression was a smile, no matter what was happening.

She was a person who never saw her own value. But she was a woman of tremendous value. She taught her children, kindness, hard work, honesty and respect. We all know my grandfather was not the nicest person in the world, and it is due entirely to my grandmother that Larry, Sue and John turned out to be the good people that they are. She was the kind of person that did not put herself forward, but just got down and did the work that needed to be done. She could be funny, she could be kind, she could also be stubborn and strong-willed, but no one with any relation to the name “Wittmayer” could claim anything else. We are a strong people, and while on the surface one might not have thought her to be the strongest of us, underneath, she was stronger than the rest. She retained her positive attitude all the time, as well as her devotion to caring for others. Nothing could make her change herself. She was a person devoted to making other people happy, her husband, her children and family, her church, her friends. We were lucky to know her, to be related to her, to be her friend.

Thank you for being here today to help us celebrate her life.

Bye Bye High Chair

Since we returned from vacation Sophia has been asserting her independence in several ways. She does not want us to break off a piece of whatever we're eating, she wants the whole thing. She doesn't want us to get a cracker out of the box and hand it to her, she wants the box so she can do it herself. Most dramatically, she has rejected her high chair and bibs. All week she threw an absolute fit every time we tried to put her in the high chair, and ultimately wouldn't eat much once we were there. After several days of this, we finally got smart. We put the high chair away (which strangely, upset her) and got out a booster seat she can use at the table. She seems quite pleased about sitting at the table with us.

This week Sophia also noticed the chess table and frequently wants to climb into its chairs and play the with the pieces. Paul is teaching her the names of the pieces and I think she's saying "pawn" when she points at the table. But with her pronunciation, it's hard to be sure. At this rate, I think she'll be the family chess champion in no time.

A few months ago my friend Therese called me a "lemon" because things so often go wrong with me. Sometimes it seems like I lurch from one health disaster to another. She sent me this lemon. I think it will be my mascot. Thanks Therese, I think.

Big Family Adventure

As promised, I'll tell you about our big family adventure. Unfortunately, I realized after we got home that most of the good pictures were taken on other people's cameras, so I don't have some photos to share that I want. At least the digital age means I'll get them eventually.

Paul's cousin Libby got married last Thursday the 5th in Chico Hot Springs in Pray, Montana . We drove out and took the opportunity to visit friends and have some fun along the way. Grandma Darla and Grandpa Earl went with us, which helped to share the driving and Sophia-entertaining responsibilities. Sophia did as well as could be expected. She got tired of the car, but the entertainment, which included a new toy, books and a DVD player, made it possible.

Before we went to Grandma & Grandpa's house we went to the Oregon Zoo for a few hours. It was a big hit and Sophia loved wandering around. She got a little nervous at one exhibit where there was a bear pressed up against the glass, but other than that, loved it. We spent the first night of our trip at Earl & Darla's house and they had a tricycle for Sophia to ride. She thought she'd go all the way to Montana on it, but we had other plans.

On the drive out we visited our friend Laura in Jerome, Idaho, and our friends Dan (who is the pastor who performed our wedding), Laura, Matt and Phillip in Idaho Falls. Since these are not folks we get to see very often, it was wonderful to spend some time with them. We also spent part of a day in Yellowstone. I think Sophia was too young to appreciate it, other than liking seeing the water (currently one of her favorite words) and hearing the birds. But the rest of us had a good time.

Then we spent two full days and three nights at Chico. It was quite a treat because all of Paul's siblings were there, Barry, Pat & Amy, along with Jess and Meghan. Our entire family hasn't been together since Memorial Day of 2006 and we had a lot of fun hanging out together. All the aunts and uncles did their job of paying attention to Sophia quite well, and she adores them all. It did, however, take her a little while to warm up to Pat. We think that's because the first day he was unshaven, and she didn't know what to think about that. After he shaved, Pat was a big hit.

The only major problem we had on the trip was the heat. It was in the mid-90's in Chico and none of the rooms were air conditioned. This meant that Sophia did not sleep well, and when she doesn't sleep well, nobody else does either. The last night we were in Chico she was up, crying, screaming and whining, for about 4 hours in the middle of the night. This was the reason that we decided to drive all the way back to Grandma & Grandpa's house on Saturday, spending about 16 hours in the car. It was exhausting, but great to not be in a hotel. During the time at Chico it would have helped if we could have cooled down in the pool, but since it's fed by mineral hot springs, it was over 100 degrees in the pool. Sophia enjoyed the pool, but we could only stay in it for limited times. She did play in a sprinkler some one evening, soaking herself completely, but looking quite happy.

It was wonderful seeing so many of Grandma Darla's siblings, their spouses and kids. All of the kids of Sophia's generation were there, and Sophia was most fascinated by cousin Lucia, who is 4 months younger than her, and cousin Ellie who is less than 3 months old. "Baby" is one of Sophia's favorite words and she used it a lot. Sophia also got to meet Great-Grandma Beste (Darla's mother) for the first time, and see Great-Grandma Lael (Earl's mother) again. She was not quick to warm up to anyone, but eventually she got comfortable.

The wedding itself was lovely, and blessedly short. It was on top of a hill, in about 95 degree heat, but happily there was a strong breeze to keep us all feeling somewhat cool. One of the great things about the wedding was that the reception was in an air conditioned building! I was very sad when I had to leave the reception early to take Sophia to bed. But she's in charge of the schedule.

In the last week Sophia has really improved her vocabulary. She has started to be willing to repeat words when we say "can you say ..." to her. That's new. She is putting two word phrases together, although most of them involve "hi." "Hi baby" is one of her favorite things to say, even when there is no baby in sight. She and grandpa developed a fun game where she would say "hi baby" and he'd respond "no baby" and they'd go back and forth dozens of times. It got a bit old for the rest of us, but she seemed to like it. Sophia has also started counting, although it appears she can only count to two. She would put things on a table, or move them from place-to-place saying "one, two" as she'd set each one down.

Sophia really did very well in the car and around all the new people. It was also great fun for all of us, not just her, to spend so much time with Earl and Darla. We were pretty tired when the trip was over, but it was wonderful.

Grandma

Last Saturday, June 30 we left for an 8-day trip through Idaho, to Chico Hot Springs in Montana where we attended the wedding of one of Paul's cousins. I have all kinds of pictures and stories to share. It was a good, but difficult trip.

While we were in Montana, however, my grandmother Emma Wittmayer died and I just don't feel like posting a cheery update of our vacation right now. So, instead, I'm posting a picture of her, my father, Sophia and I that was taken over a year ago. It's the only good picture I have of the four of us. I'll try to post a happy, cherry blog about our trip another day.